ON BEING AN “ESTEEMED EXPERT”

I liked it.

I liked having all my travel arrangements made for me.

He could have tried to look pleased to see me.

I liked getting caught up in a motorcade with blue lights flashing and outriders.  An excellent way to get through Istanbul traffic as long as the the driver pulls back when the outriders start getting twitchy.

Useful I suppose if you run out of paper.

I liked five star  accommodation.

I liked my Turkish Bath.

But who takes calls on the loo?  I hope I’m never that esteemed.

And if you’ll forgive the unfortunate juxtaposition here, I liked delivering my paper.  If I wasn’t already full enough of my own self importance, they gave me two TWO interpreters: one into Turkish and the other Sign Language.

My auditorium before everyone arrived. If only I could flik-flak down this aisle.

And published my speech in a REAL BOOK OF CLEVER THINGS BY CLEVER PEOPLE.

AND I very much liked getting caught up in the Deputy Prime Minister’s procession when we all went to dinner.  Top Tip: secret service people are not very secret and they don’t make good dinner conversation.

Turkish Deputy Prime Minister Bulent Arinc with Esteemed Experts.

Another top tip: if you mention politics to a politician, be prepared for facial expressions that can only be described as ‘inscrutable’.  Try as I might, I couldn’t scrute the Deputy Prime Minister.  I later learned I’d been mentioned in despatches and in a good way, but you’d never have scruted that at the time.