IF YOU’RE A SHREW LIVING UNDER THE COOKER AT MY HOUSE, LIFE HAS JUST BECOME MORE… CHALLENGING

A Warning to Little Shrews

Winston the cat
Is big, black and fat.
But his mew is so cute,
You’d never guess he’s a brute
Who likes to kill rats
And other tom cats.

He curls on the chair
With a warm sleepy stare.
But when you think he’s at rest,
He’s at his cruel, vicious best.
So little shrew beware:
Winston knows that you’re there.

He’s watching you peep
And feel safe and then creep
To the fridg- Bam! goes his paw
As he strikes with his claw
And sinks his teeth deep
And eats even your squeap!

Please note: ‘Squeap’ is the sound a shrew makes as it disappears in one big gollop into a big black fat cat.  There’s no time for squealing and or squeaking – the k gets swallowed.  Trust me.